FINGERING 101: HOW TO MAKE HER SCREAM
When it comes to satisfying your partner’s sexual desires, enthusiasm and a willingness to experiment will usually get you pretty far. But it also helps to constantly be brushing up on your core skill set, and if your partner happens to have a vulva, those skills should include knowing how to finger them.
Here’s the thing though guys: Despite what the women in porn would have you believe, gals need lots of foreplay. One of the best ways to warm a woman up for sex, second only to kissing and telling her what a goddess she is, is fingering. Done right, a pussy fingering can do wonders for getting her ready to hit O-Town by the time you finally insert your love wand into us.
And knowing what not to do is just as important as knowing what to do. Remember that fingering someone’s vagina isn’t meant to look or feel like a jackhammering penis — unless your partner specifically asks for that! — so the fast in-and-out rigid finger thrusting we often stereotypically associate with fingering likely won’t be the way to go. Remember that your fingers have joints and can curl and bend.
We’ve put together 10 best tips for ensuring your next fingering — aka hand sex — session is a steamy hit.
- Keep It Clean
Before you start, make sure your hands are washed and your nails are trimmed. Nobody wants any unwanted dirt or bacteria creeping into their intimate moments. Additionally, it can be a fun and sexy idea to exfoliate and moisturize your hands beforehand, creating an even more pleasurable experience for your partner.
2. Consider This Anatomy Lesson
It’s also helpful to have a basic understanding of female anatomy. Contrary to popular belief, deep penetration isn’t always necessary. In fact, the majority of the nerves in the vagina are located in the first one-third of the vaginal canal. So, take things slow and don’t worry about going too deep unless that’s what your partner specifically desires.
3. Reach for the Lube
Using lube is another crucial aspect of any fingering session. Fingers can feel rough and uncomfortable against the clitoris or inside the vagina, so it’s important to generously lubricate your partner’s fingers and the clitoris before starting.Use a high-quality water-based lube or a silicone-water-based hybrid. When it comes to getting started, be sure to take things slow and build up the arousal. Cupping the vulva and letting the heat of your hand transfer can be very sensual and heighten the experience for your partner.
4. Start Slow and Zero in on The Clitoris
Remember that fast, jackhammering movements aren’t usually the way to go. Instead, take it easy and ease into the penetration. As things start to heat up, focus your attention on the clitoris. Focus on the outer part at the top of the clitoris. This area is packed with 8,000 nerve endings in the external glans alone, double that of the penis! However, it’s important to be gentle and not press too hard as this can become uncomfortable. Use your pointer and middle fingers to make clockwise circles around the clitoris, then try moving your fingers up and down, side to side, or in a figure eight.
5. Spend Time at the Very Front of the Vaginal Opening
Additionally, stimulate the very front of the vaginal opening. This area is also packed with nerves and can be a great way to build up to an orgasm. Try also pressing your fingers around the vaginal opening, slipping a finger inside, and teasing the labia. Experiment with different techniques to find what works best for your partner.
7. Remember That the Receiving Partner Is in Charge
Perhaps the most important tip of all is to remember that the receiving partner is in charge. Only they know how it feels and what works for their body. Be sure to listen to your partner’s cues and adjust your movements accordingly. Communication is key in any sexual encounter, and fingering is no exception.
These tips and tricks will help you to become a pro at fingering. Remember to take things slow, use plenty of lube, and focus on the clitoris and vaginal opening. With a little practice and communication, you and your partner can enjoy some seriously steamy sex.
